Because I said so…

Posted by dulwichmum on Tue 13 February 2007

I really hated that expression as a child, it was one of my mothers favourites – or so it seemed. It really was quite an antagonistic expression,and it always seemed to herald an argument. On reflection, it always made me feel powerless and frustrated.

I heard myself say (well, screech would be more accurate) ‘because I said so’ today, to my pair of doe eyed darlings, in my mothers accent! It came out without thinking. James was horrified, but not nearly as much as I was. I am turning into my mother….

All my recent good work undone.

I have decided that I will never use that expression again. It seemed to be the quickest way out of a tight spot at the time, but it is not the ‘right’ way, according to my parenting class. I shall try to be a better parent, and endeavour to explain why I make the decisions I do to the children. I shall try to involve them in choices.

In future I will explain to them in hushed but confident tones, why they should not do something which I consider to be dangerous or inappropriate.

‘It is not kind to God’s lovely creatures’, I shall explain gently.

It is only when they blindly ignore me and continue with what they were doing, despite my explanations and pleas to their better nature, and take my lovely cats onto the trampoline with them that I will snap….

They will continue, and I will snap – you can count on it. I am becoming my mother…

Now, what does it say about that situation in ‘The Parenting Puzzle’ manual?

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 Respect

Posted by dulwichmum on Mon 12 February 2007

James took the children to Dulwich Park on Sunday afternoon. It was a joy to watch. I waved from the drawing room window, and then went to surf on the internet and chat to a chum on the telephone.

When they returned, James was vexed. Apparently he was standing in the playground, close to the swinging tyre, watching as our darlings climbed on a revolving rope frame thingy. Two young girls (under ten years old), climbed on the swinging tyre and began to shout at James:

‘Push us, push us now’, they demanded.

Repeatedly, they shouted louder and louder as James looked on in disgust. No one ever dares to raise their voice to my smiling husband. James is, after all, terribly powerful………

Apparently the children’s mother eventually turned up and said to the pair of feral girls: (No, not ‘say please’) -

‘This is not your father. Do not speak to strangers in this manner. Girls, really, you only speak to your parents like that.’

NOT in our house – sweetie. Not in our family. What are you setting yourself up for? These people are clearly not Dulwich. Sometimes I think we live too close to SE15.

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