Not fit…

Posted by dulwichmum on Mon 9 March 2009

Now that all signs of opulence are frowned upon (sniff), the employment of a personal trainer is considered entirely out of touch with the current mood (blows nose loudly). I have been honing my perfect physique alone on my pilates equipment (my gym looks like Abu Ghraib) and power plate at home for some months, and although the results are outstanding, I am lonely and ready to share my perfect new bod with the world (smirk).

I took my baby pooch for a quick swiz around Dulwich Park this morning (his is a spoodle NOT a damn cockapoo) and amongst the big knickered ladies in their MBTs, I noticed one of my neighbours who has taken up exercise!

There was a time when Rupes was busy in the city from one end of the week to the other, but since the golden age of banking has sadly drawn to a close (gulp), he is hoping to re-invent a new, leaner, fitter self. Rupes thundered past me, his skin tanned from his recent skiing trip (no-one skiis anymore in Dulwich darling) his gold little finger ring flashing in the sunlight (yellow metal is so last year!).

Rupes has engaged the services of a personal trainer (OHMYGOD!) and this pert young serf was shouting encouragement/abuse at the rotund redundant banker as he pounded along.

“How much do you want it Mr Montgomery, how much do you want to be lean?” he shrieked…

Rupes was virtually on his knees, there was no reply.

“You want to be mean and lean, don’t you mate? You want to rule the world,” he shrieked.

Still no reply from Rupes who was by now clutching his chest.

“You are hungry for it, aren’t you Mr Montgomery? Tell me what you are hungry for”…

Suddenly Rupes brightened and stood up straight, removing his palms from his knees:

“Actually, I could murder a ham and cheese Panini, can we stop by the coffee shop”.

OHMYGOD, how vile. Artesan Italian bread is just so passee! Rupes gives bankers a bad name!

(Note to self: Ensure this man is offered the position of Santa for the prep nursery at Christmas)

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 Difficult times?

Posted by dulwichmum on Tue 3 March 2009

Hell no! There is always something a girl can do to cheer herself up!!!

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