Doing a line…

Posted by dulwichmum on Fri 18 September 2009

greenandblacks Brenda, my mother, has always used the expression “doing a line” to describe any girlfriend/boyfriend type of relationship. I remember this as a sweet and innocent, wholesome, Irish expression (bless!).

When I was a teenager, Brenda often enquired if I was doing a line with my best boy chum. We watched The Clothes Show together, sat on park benches discussing skincare, hairspray and boys… Crispin was gay, clearly (shame)!

Looking back, mother has always been frightfully naïve. Not much has changed (smirk).

I am missing my darling man so very much at the moment, he is off on another business trip (dabs tear from eye), outsourcing everyone else’s job in an effort to keep his own (sigh) – come on Gordon, step in and stop this madness (stomps foot).

Sensing my vulnerability and desolation, Elle, my PA, has been looking after me, bringing me my favourite Starbucks’ coffee and generally making efforts to lift my spirits. She has improved substantially in my estimations…

At lunchtime, I purchased a bar of Butterscotch Green and Black’s (yum!), and as a reward. I told Elle that I had a little surprise, a “pick-me-up” for the two of us in my office.

“A giddy head rush will do us good” I chuckled as I trotted past her, unwrapped the bar and snapped it into rows on my desk.

“Let’s do a line or two”, I chirped.

“And to think, I had you down for stuffy” shrilled Elle, frantically pulling off her cardigan as she raced into my office rolling up a twenty pound note and slamming the door behind her.

Her face fell when she saw my treat…

You don’t think she got the wrong end of the stick do you? I feel sure that she anticipated some form of romantic encounter!

I am completely luscious for a woman of almost forty you know (applies lip gloss).

HOW VERY DARE SHE – “STUFFY” indeed!

OHMYGOD (grasps at chest). I had considered myself to be “down with the kids” and always sooo on trend, but the Spring Summer 2010 forecast for lesbian chic just doesn’t hold any appeal for me…

When did my gaydar stop working? Is this a sign that I am getting older? Am I becoming my mother (wail)?