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Alternative Boden Catalogue

By dulwichmum | July 1, 2010

Number One Scum Mum left this super fabulous comment on my Wordless Wednesday competition yesterday and left me laughing my socks off – despite her coarseness (clearly). She won – HURRAH!

Boden Catalogue Page 14,
Sonia wears Pretty Party Frock in Pink – Favourite thing “Chips”
Claire wears Sporty Chic Utility Jacket in Dark Denim, and Flippy Skirt in Ditsy Print. Favourite thing “Cock”

I have been quite open about my revulsion for all things Boden. The thought of their Flippy skirts, Hotchpotch tankinis and Colourblock dresses “Power Praming” around Dulwich Park makes me nauseated (stomps foot).

There is never any need for catalogue clothes shopping, not when there is Isabella Oliver, no… really? Why this cult of adults dressing like gender non specific toddlers?

I haven’t even mentioned the abominations that this brand has visited on Dulwich dads…OHMYGOD!

Let us compile our own alternative Boden catalogue! Check out this funky ensemble.

Boden catalogue – page 7

Rupert wears Favourite Linen Shirt in “Chinless”. Rugged Cotton shorts in “Rugger” and Everyday Jacket in “Tosser”.

Favourite thing: Wearing my wife’s American Tan tights and using the word “panties”.

Topics: Uncategorized | 40 Comments »

40 Responses to “Alternative Boden Catalogue”

  1. Potty Mummy Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 05:12

    I was going to enter yesterday, but then I saw her comment and thought it was such an obvious winner there was no point… Will think about the Boden catalogue and get back to you (did you know it’s even followed me to Moscow? Is there no end to Johnnie’s devilishness?)

  2. Number_One_Scum_Mum Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 07:54

    I love this outfit because it makes me think “Gay Ryan Giggs” which I’m pretty sure is not the image Johnnie was going for….

  3. London City Mum Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 12:36

    Done my bit!
    http://londoncitymum.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-contribution-to-alternative-boden.html

    LCM x

  4. dulwichmum Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 13:14

    Perfect Potty Mummy,

    OHMYGOD! Is there no escape from the flippy skirt?

    Darling Number One Scum Mum,

    Of course Johnnie knew, it was probably deliberate!

    London City Mum! You star. Thank you so much. I am loving your blog by the way. Mwah x

  5. Andrea Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 13:18

    I’ve just spat my lunch out all over OH’s apple mac!!! Brilliant!

  6. dulwichmum Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 13:24

    Lovely Andrea,

    Some men really let themselves go after they have children, don’t you agree?

  7. Adventure Mother Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 13:27

    I’m sure I had a pretty pink dress just like that when I was a little girl – made by my mother! I’m surprised you know all about Hotchpotch tankinis and Colourblock dresses if you are so revulsed – I admit, I am a devotee!

  8. dulwichmum Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 13:31

    Perfect Adventure Mother,

    Most people in Dulwich dress in Boden, from head to toe. I get at least 4 copies of each catalogue myself – not by choice you understand, I cant imagine how they put me on their database (crosses fingers behind back)…

  9. Gemma Gannon Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 13:34

    Arrrgghhh! If it isn’t bad enough that these non-gender specific clones STARE unashamedly at me when I’m out on Lordship Lane wearing my pretty vintage things, I keep receiving sodding Boden catalogues in the mail. No amount of phonecalls or emails to the epicentre of twee (Boden HQ) will cease the monthly delivery of these wretched things. They neglected to tell me this when buying the property. The ad should have read: “Beautiful two bed East Dulwich flat, close to the park, recently refurbished, will take reduced offer as one previous Bodenite owner.” xx

  10. nappyvalleygirl Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 13:37

    That is brilliant. Just showed it to my husband who nearly spat his breakfast out laughing.

    I seem to have escaped Johnny’s missives in the US (which is odd, because they do have it here). No doubt he’ll catch up with me eventually!

  11. Adventure Mother Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 14:02

    I’ve created my very own addition to your lovely catalogue.
    http://blog.adventuretogs.co.uk/adventuretogs/2010/07/alternative-boden-catalogue.html.
    You can tell I’m having a quiet day and need a bit of fun!

  12. Dulwich Divorcee Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 14:17

    OMG darling! You will be excommunicated and your little cherubs will have their fairy-printed jim-jams flambeed outisde the pavillion in Dulwich Park! I can hear my neighbours sharpening their pitchforks already ….

  13. Alternative Boden Catalogue | Dulwich Divorcee Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 14:42

    [...] my adorable chum and near neighbour (well, I can almost see her palatial gated residence from here) Dulwich Mum has [...]

  14. Notes Red Shoes Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 15:18

    simply genius! love it!!

  15. Notes Red Shoes Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 15:42

    OMG, they actually have a collection called Ditsy Florals http://www.boden.co.uk/en-GB/DitsyFlorals

  16. Notes Red Shoes Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 16:23

    Here are my 2 submissions … http://notestoselfplustwo.blogspot.com/2010/07/alternative-boden-catalogue.html

    What an enjoyable hour that was :-) xx

  17. nappyvalleygirl Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 18:17

    Here’s my submission – the alternative Boden family…

    http://nappyvalleygirl.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-alternative-boden-entry.html

  18. Rosie Scribble Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 19:20

    DulwichMum for Prime Minister is all I’m saying on the matter. x

  19. dulwichmum Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 19:31

    Perfect Rosie!

    Come on sweetie, where is your entry?

  20. Gemma Gannon Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 20:43

    The Boden Teenager:

    http://way-to-wayfare.blogspot.com/2010/07/alternative-boden-catalogue.html xx

  21. JulieB Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 20:43

    Priceless.

    My effort – hopefully the quality of the photo will make up for the somewhat feeble caption: http://thesardinetin.blogspot.com/2010/07/alternative-boden-catalogue.html

    Thanks to you I have just had my first ever “two posts in one day”…

  22. dulwichmum Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 20:49

    OHMYGOD! I am overwhelmed by all of these super submissions! I cant wait to send the images off to make up the calender! I will give copies away as a Wordless Wednesday prize!

  23. Barenakedmummy Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 20:49

    Hi I’ve just joined in after seeing it on The Sardine Tin. Great idea -so here’s mine:
    http://barenakedmummy.blogspot.com/2010/07/alternative-boden-catalogue.html
    I hope its the right thing although my crude mind carried away with me a bit lol.
    BNM

  24. Nova Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 21:01

    Haha…..great idea. I have to admit I love looking at the catalogue just to see the likes/dislikes/jobs/dreams etc…..oh my life must be so so boring!! ;0S

  25. Woozlehound Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 21:17

    Simply genius! Are there no end to the strings of Dulwichmums bow?

  26. amy elson Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 22:18

    I just can’t get the ‘likes cock’ line out of my head. Been sniggering all day. The first one was utter genius!
    Btw – has their sale started yet?

  27. dulwichmum Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 22:30

    Yes indeed! Number One Scum Mum is a complete comic genius!

  28. @jencull (Jen) Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 22:36

    I have never heard of Boden, but I don’t live in the UK. However, I am now massively curious and will run to google just so I can get some background and appreciate the photos here more:) Should I have said I haven’t heard of Boden? Was that a mistake? :D Or am I just lucky lol.

  29. Cheshire Mum Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 22:36

    Fabulous! Could be no other or better winner! Love it! Cx

  30. Muddling Along Mummy Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 22:58

    Don’t you mean ‘everyday jacket in emasculated’?

  31. NorthWestLondonGirlInTheCountry Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 09:55

    I have just seen this on London City Mum, and laughed so much. Here in the countryside Boden seems to be the uniform of choice for the mummies, I fear for them as they seem to have lost any form of personality xx

  32. Sarah, Maison Cupcake Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 23:42

    Clutching my sides laughing here, we are far too common in Walthamstow Village for Boden, they don’t even deliver the Ikea catalogue here.

  33. The Alternative Boden Catalogue « The Polly Society Says:
    July 3rd, 2010 at 19:54

    [...] am so glad to find that I am not alone. The wonderful Dulwich Mum has organised the Alternative Boden Catalogue for us all to vent our frustrations with this tepid, uninspiring “label”. So, I present [...]

  34. Polly Says:
    July 3rd, 2010 at 19:55

    I can’t match up to Number 1 Scum Mum’s comic genius, but voilà. http://thepollysociety.wordpress.com/2010/07/03/the-alternative-boden-catalogue/

  35. sarajane Says:
    July 4th, 2010 at 19:37

    Here in Bath all the new mums and kids at school are subjected to the “Boden scan.” Thought I could sneak by in an especially trendy George Collection but, needless to say, I failed…

  36. Jane Alexander Says:
    July 5th, 2010 at 13:09

    Okay, you have done it. You have made me laugh. I didn’t think it was possible.
    When I first saw your tweet I misread it and was about to storm off a hissy ‘yeah, right, like the sodding Boden catalogue is the last effing thing I effing need’….then saw that lovely word alternative and am just howling with laughter.

  37. Jane Alexander Says:
    July 5th, 2010 at 13:11

    Okay, so how do I find #1scummum’s blog? Or is it Linda in disguise??!!

  38. Jane Alexander Says:
    July 5th, 2010 at 13:13

    Okay, sorry, sorry – really am losing the plot. You’re now thinking, who on earth is this weirdo stalker? DulwichDivorcee sent me the link and – gormless moron that I am – I thought I was on her blog. Smites brow and vanishes, blushing wildly.

  39. Cuddledry Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 09:54

    Fantastic – this is hilarious – I reckon it would make a fantastic book :-)

  40. hel Says:
    August 22nd, 2010 at 23:43

    I live in South Cheshire where no-one has even heard of Boden. Think yourself lucky the parents near you actually care what they look like, because some of that self-respect is a good thing for children to emulate. Round here it’s black leggings from Asda and no idea how to wear them (ie. not with a long top so they look like they’ve gone out in tights & forgotten to finish getting dressed – the fabric is so cheap you can see their Asda knickers through it).

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