Beware…
Posted by dulwichmum on Thu 18 March 2010
Apparently, our poppets are destined to become low achieving “screenagers” if we are not dilligent in limiting their access to computers and games consoles! OHMYGOD!
I watched Jo Frost: Extreme parental Guidance last night, and it was not pretty (snigger).
No, seriously…
Poppets require time to relax and wind down each evening, especially if they are to perform at school each day. Too little sleep coupled with hyperstimulation on-line and the Nintendo DS now, and they can wave bye bye to all aspirations for Oxbridge and a career in neuro-surgery (GASP)!
It has been claimed that the tell tale warning signs of screen addiction include;
* avoiding work and activities to spend more time online
* irritability if disturbed when surfing
* postponing meals
* concealing the amount of time spent online
* excitement at anticipation of the next online fix
* spending more time socialising online with cyber chums than engaged in regular social activity…
Well we can’t have that now, can we (said clutching chest)?
God I adore bullet points, don’t you?
Tiny munchkins are subjected to all manner of dangers online (dabs tear from eye). My darlings, in search of safe, child targed DirectGov’s site Buster’s World could easily find themselves on Busters World, where full grown men in handle bar moustaches fondle balloons – in the flesh (so to speak)…
I kid you not, the DirectGov site has had to change its name – the scandal!
I have tossed all computers into the garage (please excuse my spelling, I am typing in the dark). Yes, I shall permit one hour, each weekend day, on the Nintendo DS, but I have loaded their Grade 2 violin pieces onto an R4 chip and there are no games on Dulwich Nintendos…
My children shall achieve, if my housekeeper has to complete their Gold Duke of Edinburgh Award tasks personally! I am so selfless!
Dulwichmum is on the case.
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Is there an app for this?
Homework
Polly said,
Does that mean you can do my coursework too? It is such a pain you know!
dulwichmum said,
I shall have a word with Albina for you. She has a Phd in medical anthropology (what the hell is that?)…
Bea x
Polly said,
Damn, I need English literature!! Where are experts on Sassoon and Owen when you need them?!
Pol x
dulwichmum said,
Well Pol,
I happen to be an expert on Sassoon – I was a regular customer until I discovered the joys of Nicky Clarke! What do you need to know? Are you looking for a recommendation for a cut or a colour?
Polly said,
-sobs- Not that kind of Sassoon, if only! I would be so certain for an A if it were.
Sadly, I am talking about this dish- http://famouspoetsandpoems.com/pictures/siegfried_sassoon.jpg
and http://bluehydrangeas.files.wordpress.com/2006/09/wilfred-owen.jpg
Who my teacher adores to insist were lovers- OHMYGOD!
Pol x
Expat Mum said,
I don’t know – those bullet points sound awfully like guidance for bloggers!
dulwichmum said,
Perfect Ex-Pat Mum,
I don’t know what you mean…(wail)
Daddy Papersurfer said,
You are a beacon of hope in a dark world Mumsy ……. [Jo Frost could do with losing a few pounds though ....... perhaps you could lend her your vibrating thingy ......]
Slummy Single Mummy said,
Ha ha! Great post
Heavne forbid we condone spending too much time in the internet…
Lady Macleod said,
That’s the spirit! Forge ahead, but you do know that the hand-eye co-ordination developed from many of the game sites is useful in sniper school and for the necessary quick skills needed for the July sale at Harrods? I’m just saying..
nixdminx said,
we watched that episode. and turned it off, it was a naughty step far too in polluting for our delicate minds
babieswhobrunch said,
my darling son gets ALL his vocab from charlie and “lala” these days… x
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