Blame the French
Posted by dulwichmum on Wed 9 September 2009
Last week marked the beginning of yet another school year for my tiny poppets, I am still a little emotional (dabs eyes). Sadly, my munchkins both returned to their prestigious schools on the same morning, as I couldn’t escort both, and the mothers at the boy’s school are far more stylish, I naturally sent James along to deliver Freya, himself, by hand…
I selected my outfit with great care, Sara Berman Harris Tweed coat (I was overjoyed to find the day was blustery!) and new Smythson Enid bag. I had been planning my “back to school” vetements with such care (smirk).
As I cruised through the gates, tiny Max ran to his chums and greeted them with an air kiss on each cheek! Indeed, the darling was not alone in this. The entire school yard seemed to be thronged with scamps engaging in cosmopolitan European style greetings, not a back slap or fond jostle in sight. I recoiled in horror and almost inhaled my own vomit as I realised that most of the older boys were carrying paper coffee cups containing frothy confectionery type drinks…
“In my day, boys met each other with a punch between the shoulder blades,” mocked my mother. “You know I am always ready to help look after the kiddies” (OHMYGOD). I am sure she must read The Daily Mail!
The boys have spent far too much time in the company of emotionally incontinent, European au pairs. It is no surprise to me at all that Swine Flu has hit us so very badly here in Dulwich. No longer content with a simple bi-lateral air kiss, some of these Southern French girls now engage in three kisses, and if one is unfortunate enough to commence on the wrong cheek, a school yard greeting can take on the qualities of top level “girl on girl” action (clutches chest)… I should imagine.
This must stop (stomps foot). I shall place an advertisement in The lady for a nice butch South African au pair forthwith… My boy needs to be surrounded by good role models.
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SingleParentDad said,
What are you paying, I normally rough kids up for free, so to be paid would be a bonus.
kitschen pink said,
Happily hubby does all the morning school runs so I never have to look alive before 4’0pm… which I can just about manage! Deeply amused to see that your scrummy new Enid is worth a similar amount to my four wheeled transport – I might start to call it Enid too! t.xx
Frog in the Field said,
Ooh La La!
dulwichmum said,
Single Parent Dad – Darling man!
Why don’t I believe you?
Sweet Kitschen Pink,
I adore my Enid – pop over when you are next in town and I shall alow you to stroke it!
Frog darling,
Mais oui!
Andrea said,
Love your blog! A new mum has started collecting her sweetheart from school. Beautifully groomed hair, gorgeous red designer shirt dress and to die for leather pumps. I live in Coventry for goodness sake, what is going on!!
dulwichmum said,
Oh Darling, I am so very glad. Can I offer you a drink?
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