Elf and Safety
Posted by dulwichmum on Sun 6 December 2009
The poppets can be so very exhuberant at this time of the year (OHMYGOD!), they are incredibly excited that Christmas is almost here, bless! Parents must be resourceful, utilising every tool available, in an effort to ensure the darlings behave themselves and we survive the festivities. To that end, I am sharing a gift with you, I received it earlier today from my great friend Caroline, it is already working its magic in my home (smirk)!
Form SCLAUS1 ES, Dec 09
In order to ensure Santa’s arrival to and safety within your home, please fill in this form clearly and truthfully because, he is making a list, and he is checking it twice…
APPLICANT DETAILS
What did your parents name you?
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Where do you live?:
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Have you been good?
On the scale below please indicate (circle) your level of behaviour over the past 12 months (Remember he knows)
Saintly – Fiendish
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
If you indicated between 1 and 3 inclusive: What would you like for Christmas? (Please print)
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
If you indicated between 4 and 6 inclusive: What would you like for Christmas? (Please print)
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
If you indicated between 7 and 10 inclusive: What would you like for Christmas? (Please print clearly)
_________
ACCESS DETAILS
Do you have a chimney?
Yes – Approx. diameter of stack opening centimeters _____
No – On the night please leave the back door or a large window ajar.
When was it last swept? __/__ /__
Please ensure on the night that the hearth is clear of burning embers and sharp objects.
What is the pitch of your roof? ___ degrees
If the pitch is more than 30 degrees please attach a roofing diagram indicating at least two (2) anchor points (eg. TV antenna, spire, chimney etc.)
Does your roof have a minimum load bearing capacity of 1 ton per square meter? (9 reindeer, a full sleigh, plus a big bloke in a funny suit)
• Yes
• No – On the night please ensure that your driveway is clear of all objects bigger than a cat
• Unsure – Please attach a certified engineer’s report clearly outlining the average load bearing capacity of your roof
GIFT PLACEMENT DETAILS
Where would you like your gifts placed? (Please circle)
• End of bed
• Under the Christmas tree
• Stocking (Please specify stocking size in centimetres) __________
• Hidden (Please indicate level of difficulty) All day to find/Half day to find/Ten minutes to find
REFRESHMENT DETAILS
Will refreshments be provided? no YES
What type of refreshments will be available? (Tick more than one)
* Rum * Gin * Scotch * Whisky * Vodka * Bourbon * Brandy * Beer * Wine
Other – Please specify (including percentage proof)
___________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Where will these refreshments be found?
Drinks cabinet (Please leave unlocked, or a key in an obvious place)
Cupboard (Attach a house plan indicating which cupboard/s in which room/s)
Fridge
On the kitchen table (Preferred option)
DECLARATION
I, the abovementioned child, living at the abovementioned address, declare that the information provided herein is true and correct in every detail. Furthermore, I authorise Santa to contact my parents of the same address to confirm the details set out herein. I understand that in the event that my story does not correspond with that of my parents, especially the bit about my level of behaviour, it could be a lean Christmas. I also promise to be asleep when Santa arrives, because, he does know.
Your name (joined up writing):
___________________________________________________________________________________________
What date is today? __ /__ /__
Please print and post this completed application (one for each child in household), to arrive no later than the night before Christmas, to:
Mrs. S. Claus (Senior administrator)
Santa’s workshop
North Pole
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Chic Mama said,
Oh dear……….my children will not be getting a visit this year then. I DO NOT do forms. Far too busy. ;0)
dulwichmum said,
Why sweetie! I got them to fill it out themselves!
Frog in the Field said,
I love what you’ve done with it Bea!
xx
Pippy Elle said,
Oh the fun, I know just the perfect naughty grown up “child”. Thank you sooooo much. YOU are, as always, FANTATIC xxxxxx PS I hope there is no contractual criteria for the term “child”, and matters of a very personal and private nature are not discussed with parents?
Claire Lancaster said,
“He’s watching you know, he’s always watching” is my current favourite phrase! Can’t believe I’ve got fewer than 19 days to use it! x
dulwichmum said,
Thank you so much for this Caroline, you saved my Sunday!
Lovely Pippy Elle,
Thank you darling, but were you saying I am a fanatic?
Darling Claire,
I keep saying; “You know he is watching now, lets give him a good show!”
EmmaK said,
Am I the only one to phone up Santa’s Elves if the kids misbehave anytime in December? I have several times been on the phone to the Elves “Yes Sarah has been very rude this morning. Called her sister a bumface. Okay I’ll tell them this is their last warning. One more ‘bumface’ and the elves will bypass the house?” Cue screaming kids promising to be good. It is a pretty good ruse.
rachel pattisson said,
That’s so funny! I can just imagine my two when they’re older, earnestly wondering how wide the chimney is.
Gill said,
What a wonderful way to keep thoser kiddies out of mischief!! I love it. How long did it keep your two quiet?
Gill in Canada
dulwichmum said,
Lovely EmmaK,
What a super plan. I shall try that tomorrow. And to think, I thought that my poppets were the only ones to use that expression (bless)!
Kind Rachel,
They filled it out so very carefully.
Gill dear friend,
They have been behaving themselves all afternoon!
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