Monday, February 6, 2012

title pic Fathers day tip

Posted by dulwichmum on Sat 20 June 2009

I trotted off to meet James for lunch yesterday afternoon, in an effort to appeal to his better nature. He has cruelly refused to take me to Ascot this year, despite a wardrobe choc full of fabulous new frocks and chichi millenary confections (sniff). He did not take his usual corporate box for the week, and so, all of my preparations were made in vain (wail). It is just not the done thing this year, apparently.

I was hoping to manipulate him tug on his heart strings – surely he would relent, just for one day at least…

Hey ho, apparently the event was even more chav than usual. All manner of Z list celebs were present in the Silver Ring, various portly members of the Ferguson clan, Samantha Cameron, that MP - Limp Old Armpit with his stripper girlfriend and various reality show has beens. It is not for everyone (smirk).

I haven’t enjoyed a single corporate beano yet this summer, not a one (blows nose). We are under orders to play it down and show willing to reform (my husband is a financier, not a damn politician, grrr).

Poor war torn James has been burning the candle at both ends, nose to the grindstone. He was ashen and haggard when I met him in his swish office and several of his team had most alarming appearances… shiny skin, distorted facial expressions, very strange indeed. I wondered if one chap in particular had suffered a stroke. It was only when I left James later at Le Gavroche that the penny dropped. Several members of James’ team have been resorting to injectible substances (and I don’t mean marijuana) to ensure they look bright eyed and bushy tailed, trying to keep their jobs, not wanting to appear too old… I do not intend for my man to end up looking like David Guest.

I galloped straight over to SpaceNK and purchased my Alpha Male the entire range of Alford and Hoff premium skincare products, just in time for father’s day. After all, behind every great man is a great woman. I shall use all of my skills and knowledge to project him further up the career ladder, or at least keep him firmly on an appropriate rung! I shall post a review of these products soon; I see it as a duty to keep you girls informed. We simply can’t rest on our laurels when there is work to be done you know!

Anyone for a G&T?

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Comments: 7 Comments to Read

  • gaelikaa said,

    You’re so right, DM. Keep up the good work!!!!

  • MelRoXx said,

    You’ve got a great attitude, DM.

  • menopausaloldbag (MOB) said,

    You know what with the temperature increasing yearly with all this global warming you have done the right thing. Doesn’t Botox explode over certain temperatures? If you think those peeps look bad now, wait until it starts to explode or wear off and their face slides off their head because they took a pay cut and can’t afford to top up. Poor buggers, you must have thought you were in a surreal Madame Tusssauds moment.

  • Kitschen Pink said,

    I packed my man and boy off with a picnic disgustingly early this morning on a ‘quality time’ fishing trip – fresh air – that’s the thing! t.x

  • dulwichmum said,

    Dear MOB!

    It was the most disturbing of experiences… I am easily shocked and extremely fragile you know (hic).

    Perfect Kitschen Pink,

    Good for you! I find it so very difficult to fit enough “me” time in, so any excuse for male bonding will do (sigh)…

  • Expat Mum said,

    You may have to step into the shower (which I am assuming is as big as a cricket pitch with a 12 inch wide rain shower head) to make sure he applies the man creams. Many men simply shove them into a drawer and forget about them.

  • Adventure Mother said,

    Poor you, no Ascot! But just think, you have escaped all those smelly horses and poop!

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