Tuesday, May 22, 2012

title pic Having it all – and keeping it!

Posted by dulwichmum on Sun 8 August 2010

I have been lying down for most of the weekend (sniff). The alarm was raised on Friday morning when I went to a meeting at a certain landmark building in Canary Wharf. I find lifts in skyscrapers most anxiety provoking, not because of the height you understand, but the journey lasts so damn long that one can end up conversing with the strangest people…(clutches chest).

A distinguished older looking man got into the lift with me on the ground floor and announced after a few seconds: “Oh God, I can’t believe that the weekend is almost here again”. I tried to ignore him, naturally (smirk).

“I have a five year old daughter and she is simply relentless, she is killing me” he continued.

I was a little taken aback, but smiled sympathetically and soothed:

“You should get yourself an au pair”.

His next line left me speechless:

“How do you think I ended up with a five year old daughter at my age…”

OHMYGOD!!!

I raced home when my meeting finished, and tottered through the house to the garden where my poppets were occupied, the au pair wearing a blue dayglo bikini and metallic silver cowboy hat with white mirabou feather trim…ON THE DAMN TRAMPOLINE!!!

I fired her naturally.

My poppets have been dispatched to summer camp for remainder of the hols. I will not have my home infiltrated by some hussy (stomps foot). Emma Thompson pointed it out last week, it is so difficult to have it all…(wail), she seems to think that hiring staff is a bad idea and I am beginning to think she could be right (bottom lip wobbles).

Well I do have it all Emma dear, and I am keeping it (stomps foot)…

Could someone please tell Emma that she could do with some under-wiring? There is more to keeping a man than making him a cup of milky tea in the morning…

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Comments: 5 Comments to Read

  • Donna Pinnell said,

    Brilliant blog!
    Not sure if I like the exhausted “older” gentleman or the ceremonial firing of the au pair the best!

  • dulwichmum said,

    Thanks Donna,

    Don’t you think that it is Karma? He is being ground into the floor by a five year old, all because he couldn’t behave himself. My mother always says: “You get what you pay for!”

  • Number_One_Scum_Mum said,

    You could certainly teach Emma T a thing or two about appropriate foundation garments xx

  • dulwichmum said,

    Sweet Number_One_Scum_Mum,

    Well you know it is true. A girl should never leave home without a slip and proper underwiring… its not natural!

  • Keli said,

    I’m all for push-bras myself…and for the demise of au pairs.

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