Hols!
Posted by dulwichmum on Tue 27 July 2010
My poppets abhor long haul travel (sniff), and as a result, we spent 3 previous summer breaks enjoying the delights of the icy gusts and driving rain in Cornwall (dabs tear from eye).
Since falling in love with his new Ipad, James has taken pity on my mother and set her up on his laptop. She had been trying to access the internet for an age using an old black and white TV sitting on top of a Betamax video recorder that she found on top of a wardrobe in the box room (I kid you not).
Following a suggestion from a new cyber chum at Beckenham Irish Catholic Widows Online (BICWO for short), Brenda insisted on a snappy 3 hour flight to the guaranteed sunshine of a well known family resort in The Algarve! Brenda booked the entire trip for us on the net herself!
When she realised why the name sounded so familiar, she promptly cancelled her membership of BICWO, along with her holiday, the planned pilgrimage to Fatima and day trip Andega do Cantor (Sir Cliff Richard’s vile vineyard) and she tried to insist that we do the same! We were delighted to scrap the tacky day trips but not the entire holiday.
I am a full grown adult and I refuse to be told what to do by my mother (stomps foot and pouts), and by this point I must admit that I was curious and really rather looking forward to two weeks at Praia da Luz, or …”Abduction on Sea” as one encouraging chum christened it (laughs hysterically).
First impressions of the resort are nothing like the “low key, authentic working village with an easy going holiday vibrancy” as described in the brochures, and more of a tired, characterless Mediterranean holiday resort. Praia da Luz could easily be situated in any one of a dozen locations, from Croatia to The Canary Islands with its neat rows of villas and developments of modern apartments. You will be hard pressed to find any authentic Portuguese architecture or more than a handful of Portuguese speakers here.
Our accommodation was part of the sprawling Ocean Club Development, just a hop and a skip to the pleasant beach with its array of water sports and excursions, a variety of pools and tennis courts, shops, a pharmacy and a selection of restaurants, cafes and bars. A washing machine, iron and ironing board, fan, telephone and satellite TV are provided as standard in most accommodation making it perfectly equipped for families (one has to provide ones own au pair and house keeper, clearly!). However, the fact that the bedrooms were on the ground floor of our modern spacious 2 story villa, and therefore easily accessible from the street meant that we slept with all of the windows securely locked in the baking heat… well this is Praia da Luz we are talking about! The safety of ones progeny is never far from one’s thoughts here – I refudiate Boris “the arse” Johnson’s advocacy of his own special brand of feckless, “hands off” parenting…
I must admit that I am less than familiar with the format of package holidays, but the chamber maids were complete feckless lazers and did little more than empty the bins 3 times for the entire 2 weeks. I had foolishly expected some light housework, a few glasses rinsed and perhaps a change of bed linen and towels. Don’t even mention replenishing the toilet rolls, the thread count of the sheets or a turn down service (gasp)!
Praia da Luz feels as though the holiday operators are not quite sure whether to make any further investment in this unfortunate resort, or abandon it to crumble into the sea. Less than half of the accommodation at the resort was occupied (I am being generous), and I seriously doubt that this is all due to the recession. Whatever happens, for the prices they are charging, it would surely benefit from a truck load of Cilit Bang, a huge vat of fly killer and an entire week dedicated to scrubbing – Betruthan Steps this is not! If we had intended on enduring 2 weeks lounging on cheap, grubby furniture with great views, we could have moved into the au pairs flat over the damn garage.
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NumberOneScumMum said,
Well if nothing else you all got home safely
Daddy Papersurfer said,
I think I did try to warm you Mumsy ……. or if I didn’t I should have done. May I suggest Ferragudo if you go to the Algarve again ……. just sayin’ ……. drink?
dulwichmum said,
Sweet N O S M,
You are right, I know it (sob).
Perfect Daddy,
Pass the gin!
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