It is not for everyone…
Posted by dulwichmum on Wed 28 July 2010
There are clearly 2 tribes being catered for, side by side at The Beach Club in Praia Da Luz. Both share the same facilities, endure the painfully slow service and dine from the same menu at The Mill Restaurant each evening. Both use the same grubby toilets (clutches chest) and swim in the same, rust and limescale soiled dated pools (pretends to vomit), but at completely different price points, no really, separated by literally thousands of pounds per famille per week!
Why pay substantially more to go with Mark Warner than Thomas Cook to the same resort you may ask?
The difference becomes apparent with the holiday reps’ introductions. Mark Warner’s team of smiling young employees, all (apart from the waitresses) seem to have the title “Manager” on their name badges (who exactly are they managing?), list the tennis, golf, cycling, walking, yoga, pilates/toning watersports and most importantly kids clubs which are on offer for their customers.
Thomas Cook’s rep advises customers to travel using the local buses, bring home “the local firewater as gifts for pals”,”only try the Piri Piri if you love a good vindaloo” and purchase late night pizza for eating as breakfast the next day on the beach (gasp)! She explains to a hungover mob how she is still haunted by a meal where she was charged a full 80 Euros for two, without wine, ten years ago (OHMYGOD)! “Watch out for the price of the fish”she shrills. If she uses the expression “A-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y no problem whatsoever” one more time, we are all going to scream! She talks without stopping for breath for a full 15 minutes!
The typical Thomas Cook customer appears to have at least one small child, shackled to a buggy with an enormous bulging nappy, for the full duration of the holiday; by the pool and on the beach in the scorching sunlight, in the sea, in the bars etc. Papa makes Roul Moate look like John Barrowman as he unceremoniously hurls yet another staff member into the pool and mama has bleached hair, tattoos, missing teeth and a selection of empty plastic pint glasses by the side of her sun lounger. Both parents are bright orange (how do they do that?) and display a selection of enormous abdominal scars that causes me to chastise my poppets for speculating that they have been set upon by sharks.
We are not typical Thomas Cook customers…clearly! I am not a 3 star kind of girl (stomps foot). Thanks for that mother (grrr).
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Daddy Papersurfer said,
So enjoying your holiday de-briefing ….. can you get counselling for Post Holiday Stress Disorder? ….. another slug of vino Mumsy?
dulwichmum said,
Daddy dear,
The Thomas Cook mob were vile, vile, vile! The service and levels of hygiene were shocking. The Mark Warner Crowd were hysterical! I have organised another break simply to aid my recovery!
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