It’s all over…
Posted by dulwichmum on Mon 19 October 2009
I feel sick…
I am nauseated (clutches chest and gasps for air).
You have not idea what it is like around here (bites lip).
These women at the school gate are … (shrieks) vipers (wail).
My social standing in Dulwich is now destroyed, ANNIHILATED!
Don’t you laugh. No! (Whimper)… Don’t you dare.
I had just poured myself a miniscule glass of Chablis and sat down avec poppets to read Freya’s school Year Book 2008-9. I discovered that the perfect child had written an entire passage with an evil, twisted, ex-au pair – holding a grudge…OHMYGOD!
This is not my darling girl’s fault (looks around suspiciously).
Oh no, I know exactly where the blame lies (stomps foot).
In a passage entitled “My family” Freya had penned a piece about my husband’s parents:
“Grandpa was a sailor and he lives with Grandma Elizabeth in a big estate in Wales, and there is lots of shooting…”
This is not an accurate account of my husband’s parents or their capacious home (dabs tear from eye)! They do not live in a 1970’s sink estate in Merthyr Tydfil, riddled with gun crime (gasps for air). Yes, one would be expected to shoot if one visited them, but most certainly, no-one is in danger of getting shot. Not recently (checks out glossy manicure). THEY OWN AND LIVE ON AN ESTATE, THEY DO NOT LIVE “IN” ONE (if you see what I mean).
And Grandpa Charles was a commodore, NOT damned Popeye the sailor man…
I am off to bed with one of my heads.
How very dare everyone.
This is not funny.
NOT funny at all.
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Chic Mama said,
Oh I’m sorry……but it is very funny.. hehe. How much does an ad in the newspaper cost? You better explain it all. ;0)
angelsandurchinsblog said,
Hope you wore your plus fours with pride at the school gate. Everyone heads out of ‘town’ on Fridays, after all, especially when it’s half term…
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