Moi?

Posted by dulwichmum on Fri 22 October 2010

Have you any idea how very stressful it is to be a parent in Dulwich (wipes tear from eye)? Yes the poppets attend super swishy, high achieving schools but everything is a damn competition, from the organic, free range diet and supplements that the poppets consume (continuing to dose poppets with Omega 3 supplements would be social death around here), to homework projects – professional women abandon their careers to ensure that their progeny’s homework is top of the class. I may be forced to give up my job to keep up (clutches chest).

The terrain is constantly changing – like the ice sheets melting from under a polar bear’s paws – I am running to just to stand still (whimpers) and my feet are killing me (wails).

Take book week for example; Burly boy Max is eight years old and he went along to the special assembly as The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas (smirk). He hasn’t read the vile text, clearly! I don’t want to distress the munchkin, so I gave him a basic description… without the traumatic bits. To be fair, I haven’t read it myself, who has? Would you believe that a child dressed as a pig from Animal Farm won the prize? There is not the remotest possibility that any boy of eight has been reading Animal Farm, and no way that he was involved in the construction of that amazing pappier mache snout mask accessory either. Daddy is something at the National Theatre – say no more!

The gloves are well and truly off at the Dulwich schools. It is shameless. Parent pitched against parent (sniff). – Freya tried to insist that she went as “Bad Science” – her favorite book, she is achingly bright, naturellement (bats eyelashes). However, Bad Science is not a character, and Ben Goldacre is not very easy on the eye, so we sent her along as a fairy from the Daisy Meadows series… I KNOW THAT THESE BOOKS ARE NOT VERY CHALLENGING FOR A 7 YEAR OLD GIRL, BUT GET OVER IT, ITS BOOK WEEK (STOMPS FOOT)!

No-one will ever accuse me of being a pushy parent, not me (glances to the left)…

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Comments: 2 Comments to Read

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  Home Office Mum said,

  It’s not just in Dulwich. A couple of weeks back, the mother of my son’s best friend and I were talking about the maths homework our 6 year old boys had been given. And we actually asked each other: ‘So what did you get for the maths homework?’ Not how did your son do. No. How did YOU do, because that’s what it is right, a competition to see which parent puts the most effort into their children’s homework. It was then I decided it was craziness and shall now sit back sipping G&Ts while my son does his homework (badly) on his own. And I’ll probably then have to mention to the other mother that I’m the more superior parent for letting my child be an independent thinker. There is no end to the madness.

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  dulwichmum said,

  Perfect Home Office Mum,

  You know it is going on all over. Parenting is a competition, and the finish line ends when they qualify from medical school!

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