Party Political Moi!
Posted by dulwichmum on Wed 14 April 2010
I have noticed scores of newly delivered mothers pushing Bugaboos through Dulwich Village over the years, wearing a-line, appliqué, skirts. All on a slippery slope until Jonnie Boden has completely taken over and their wardrobes are choc full of “flippy” dresses, “hotchpotch” jackets and “fun” skirts (wipes tear from eye). This kind of thing is not for everyone and is a sure fire cause of postnatal depression.
STEP AWAY from that catalogue. Women are not meant to dress like children, it must be stopped (stomps foot).
I find Cath Kidston products rather jolly (chirps). Any brand that manages to co-ordinate the dog’s bed with the ironing board cover and the housekeeper’s pinny is to be celebrated, but it is not for everyone… These clothes are simply not fabulous! Someone needs to take control of this country, to set a fabulous example to everyone, everywhere.
On the cover of The Evening Standard tonight it announced that Nick Clegg said; “I want to be Prime Minister”. My son Max wants to be Captain Underpants but boys must learn that they cannot have everything they want!
The USA has had JFK, Bill Clinton (smirk) and Obama (bats eyelashes). Are we to expect nothing better than “that stupid boy” David Cameron who looks like a stunt double for Pike from Dads Army?
This election is completely uninspiring. The candidates do not fill me with anticipation. They do not speak to me at all (yawns).
With the support of my Twitter chums, I have decided to step forward as a candidate and form a political party. We will not be happy until there are plantation shutters hanging at the window of number 10, the front door is painted in eggshell Farrow and Ball, Elephant’s Breath, and there are a couple of topiary bay trees at the front door. Let us sort this mess out! Please feel free to post any ideas for policies below.
LETS PUT THE GREAT BACK IN BRITAIN (stomps foot). Join The Fabulous Party Today!
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Philips ReAura (Part 2)
The Body Shop - Born Lippy™ Satsuma Shimmer, Passion berry and Pomegranate Lip Balm
Philips ReAura (Part 1)
Is there an app for this?
Homework
amy elson said,
And so say all of us! x
Polly said,
Primark is to be shut down, starting NOW, as are any other “budget high street” shops.
Scrunchies et al to be shot on sight.
I am drawing up a stocks list as we speak.
dulwichmum said,
Oh Amy dear heart,
I knew you would answer my call!
Sweet Pol,
We shall also close down Lidl, Netto and Aldi. You know it is the right thing to do. Nice shops for nice people!
Number_One_Scum_Mum said,
All working mothers will be given Friday afternoon off so that they can sip Chablis and chat.
dulwichmum said,
Sweet Number_One_Scum_Mum,
As usual, you are inspired.
Damn! and I am busy this Friday afternoon, but how about next Friday instead?
Bea x
Gemma Gannon said,
Eugh. The Boden-ites. They need to be banned.
deludedwoman said,
I’m in! Au pairs for all, with special grants for those poor girlies who need to build on spare room! And…forget tax credits, let’s go for a grooming credits- so easly to let it all go when one becomes a mama… xxx
dulwichmum said,
Gemma dear,
They need to be locked up, don’t you agree? Lets strap Jonnie Boden to the ducking stool!
Dear Deludedwoman!
I love that – “Grooming credits” ha!
Number_One_Scum_Mum said,
Sweetie, as I’ve told you before, we do not need to worry, all of Johnnie’s army in their “fun” tops and “flippy” skirts are all on mumsnet
dulwichmum said,
Bullying eachother!
nappyvalleygirl said,
I was hoping to get out of voting for any of the muppets on offer because I’m in America – but I’d definitely vote for the DulwichMum party. How about free weekends at the Grove once a year for all mothers?
PS I have never bought a “fun” skirt but I did once order a pair of deck shoes from Boden – am I forgiven?
dulwichmum said,
OHMYGOD! Please promise me that this footwear was purchased for sailing (clutches chest)…
Belgravia Wife said,
Oh Dulwich Mum – this speaks to me. I have been troubled over this – I don’t think I can bear visual exposure to the Camerons for the next four years. If ok with you I’ll set up the Number 10 Able & Cole – Daylesford deliver in SW1 but I am sure I can talk them round.
I will also create and obviously assume a new Cabinet Post – Minister for Banning of Acronyms. Sam Cam, Jedward, SuBo, DIINKY – JUST STOPPIT !
Belgravia Son Number One was once given a t shirt from Boden – I can honestly say it was one of the ugliest things I have ever seen. Can we keep Boris Johnson though …so much potential….
The Farmers Wife said,
I vote we should hold our annual conference at The Grove an there will be lovely Mulberry bag for all attendees.
Froginthefield said,
Sweetie, this is a wonderful read, and some innovative ideas are forming here
Charlotte said,
I have just moved down the road from Dulwich – when I contacted my local NCT branch about groups they sent me an invite to a ‘Boden Party’ – which I can only assume is like an Anne Summers Party but with less style!
Charlotte xx
Chic Mama said,
Can I be Entertainments minister please/ ;0)
Irish Mammy said,
I vote for George Clooney as chief foot massager/back massager/…ok someone good to look at on the news, I am sure we can find him a role right?
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