Rollercoaster
Posted by dulwichmum on Sat 22 May 2010
Tonight my mother is bereft, I kid you not… Apparently Ronan Keating’s marriage is over:
“That money digger Yvonne threw him out and he was only unfaithful with the one girl.”
I almost inhaled my coffee!
“Mother, have you been at the altar wine?”
“When she threw him out of their house in Dublin, the poor boy was roaring and crying” Brenda asserted.
“Were you there yourself to observe that mother?” I asked.
“Of course I wasn’t, your Aunty Oonagh told me she read it in a local newspaper”.
“Well mother, perhaps his wife was right to throw him out. For all you know, he could have been discovered making love to the family pet, wearing his mothers old Marigolds. If Cheryl Cole can advertise shampoo with a head full of hair extensions, the press is capable of anything… The newspapers that you are reading are nothing but comics.”
Brenda was silent on the other end of the phone.
“I think Ronan had a premonition that Yvonne was never going to stand by him – that tough times were ahead”
“How can you tell that mother?” I laughed.
“The lyrics of one of his songs: “Life is a roller coaster.”
OHMYGOD!
Is your parent clinically insane or am I alone in this?
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jfb57 said,
Mine had some great sayings & always knew best! I wonder if we’ll be like that?!!
Polly said,
No, you are not alone. My mother holds in depth conversations with the cat, and puts fleeces on her plants every winter to stop them freezing.
She is also the proud owner of a “Blueberry” which she can barely use.
dulwichmum said,
Lovely jfb57,
In many ways I feel that I am becoming more like my mother, but I hope not too much. She just seems so incredibly gullible!
Perfect Pol,
I own a Blueberry too!
Daddy Papersurfer said,
Inhaling coffee is very good for your immune system …….. I’m just looking on the bright side for you Mumsy ……….
dulwichmum said,
Oh Daddy dear,
You are a brick… When I get off this ventilator, I am sure I will see the funny side (wipes tear from eye).
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LisaG said,
My mother will go whatever way she is led…be it by newspaper, radio, tv news or soap opera!!!!
Does my head in!
dulwichmum said,
Dear LisaG,
I swear I think I am going insane sometimes. Perhaps we should start a Facebook support group for children of crazed parents! Is your mother Irish too?
Stella said,
Well, mine ARE insane! This kind of conversation sound kind of familiar to me, too!
dulwichmum said,
Oh Stella,
Holy hell. We are destined to become silly as we get older then…clearly (wail)!
kitschen pink said,
Sadly my mother is always right, she is far more streetwise than me, she usually warns me of things just before I ignore her and then said thing happens, she’s always there for me when I fall flat on my face, she knows how to fix things when I screw up….. it’s insufferable. You have it easy sweetheart! t.xxxx
Daddy Papersurfer said,
I could have sworn I saw something about swimming *scratches head* – or perhaps I’m seeing into the future ….
Dulwich Divorcee said,
At least your mother knows who Ronan Keating is, darling. My mother would probably think he was an exotic disease x
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