Despite the current economic gloom, the election of Mr Obama as President of the United States initially seemed to offer one green shoot of optimism, heralding a new dawn of equality and righteousness on this planet…
However, recent revelations of the terms used by the upcoming generation of royals have taken my breath away.
In the past, I had been under the impression that Prince Philip and the Queen Mother were a pair of ethanolic, gin swigging bigots, who entertained themselves watching recordings of trashy TV shows. I consoled myself that the heir and his spare were enlightened and in touch with reality. Clearly the royals continue to behave in a morally abhorrent and superior manner, treating those who they deem lucky enough to be in their circle with abuse and contempt.
How very sad. As an indication of my disapproval, I shall no longer permit the purchase of Duchy Original provisions for my household.
This country is truly in a bad way. Its public figures deeply superficial.
Yesterday, my perfect man announced that our super shiny Audi Q7 is to be sold! Apparently it is too conspicuously “bling” and its fuel consumption a scandal. From now on, I shall be confined to the damn eco-Prius “how incredibly fuel efficient” I shrilled through gritted teeth. James insists that we must be seen to seek value for money (OHMYGOD!).
In the recent past, I have made substantial cuts to the household expenditure (gasp). Just last month I insisted that Albena (the bulky Bulgarian housekeeper) purchase Audra the aggressive Albanian au pair’s food in the economy section at Lidl and I have turned off the heating in her room above the garage. Audra spends most of her waking hours working in our toasty home anyhow, since I fired the cleaner, dog walker, dog groomer, gardener, tree surgeon and window cleaner. The execution of her daily chores should be enough to keep her warm! Actually, I may turn the thermostat down at home during the day too; they can layer up while James and I are at work all day!
Entertaining in is the new er…”in”. May I offer you a drink?
I feel so deeply offended by the royals. How shocking that those in positions of power continue to demonstrate mans inhumanity to man (sigh).
Why not sit down and join me for an episode of Kimora on cable TV? I just adore observing her discuss complete trivia in earnest. What a hoot!
How terrible for you to have to endure such cutbacks dear Dulwichmum!
I fear the fear of the economy is sweeping the world and we too have been forced to buy our alcohol from the United States! (gasp) off of the supermarket shelves at that! How mortifying! And so cheap too!
The Man has warned that if the economic future keeps looking so grim we might have to resort to drinking – fizzy cider! I am thinking of withholding conjugal rights if he brings this about.
What say you?!
Oh Aims dear heart,
I have been with-holding conjugal rights for years! If he suggested fizzy cider to me I would call in the lawyers. Come and stay here with me sweetie.
Mwah
Well, green is the new black I suppose.
You said it dear Sparx,
Can I offer you a glass of something cold?
Darling you’re rambling. Have another gin and take a taxi! t.x
Dearest DM, you are so right about Duchy Originals, let’s have a Dulwich-wide boycott, that should show those foul-mouthed louts and their dad a thing or two …besides, I can’t really look another of their luxury mince pies in the eye after the festive season. I can ask my window cleaner about buses for you if the Audi really has to go, I think he uses public transport ….xx