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She who laughs last…
By dulwichmum | August 11, 2009
I have just spilled oil on my favourite Isabella Oliver Butterfly silk dress. I do hope that the dry cleaner can remove these tiny stains (bites lip).
I had been sooo looking forward to my shopping trip to Westfield. Can you imagine how my heart fell when Granzilla insisted on joining me? The day had already started badly, despite my best efforts:
“What is that perfume? It smells so pretty” I chirped.
“I don’t like it at all, it is giving me a headache” snapped Granzilla.
“What a shame,” I replied,” what is it called?”
“I have no idea” she scowled, “it was the only thing I could find in your bathroom cabinet”…(OHMYGOD!).
It was clear to me that Granzilla intended to curtail my spending.
I am NO gold digger (stomps foot).
I adore darling James (wipes enormous tear from eye) and I like to make the best of myself for him. I can’t help it if I like nice things, and he has stacks of cash…
I had an appointment at Malika first thing, to have my eyebrows threaded and so, I slipped in to see a super swish therapist who sculpted my new arches. Devi suggested that I massage my brows with castor oil nightly for 6 weeks as this (apparently) encourages hair to thicken and grow more profusely…(I wasn’t sure whether to believe her).
Granzilla was hovering with Freya, so I insisted that she try threading “my treat” and quietly instructed Devi to remove: “everything below her eyelashes and above her Adam’s Apple” before skipping merrily out of the shop avec poppet to engage in some retail therapy.
M&S at Westfield seems so much more appealing as they have a bar where a girl can drink Champagne! I couldn’t locate Castor oil on the shelves at Boots and so, I queued up to seek the assistance of a handsome Indian pharmacist. He immediately insisted that my eyebrows were perfect and didn’t require further encouragement! I was rather shocked; apparently I am the last one to know about this super effective hair growth treatment which he informed me has been used by generations of glamorous Indian women!
Naturally I purchased a great vat of castor oil… before eventually popping back to collect Granzilla, who by now, had been fully depilated (smirk).
So, my favourite dress has been splashed with castor oil, I really should have bought a small funnel to decant this oil into Granzilla’s Decleor Neroli facial oil and Fenjal bath oil bottle. Where did I put that food colouring (bats eyelashes)?
I hate to think of old people suffering from cold in the winter…(evil cackle)
Topics: Uncategorized | 5 Comments »
August 11th, 2009 at 18:09
I see Granzilla is worming her way in to your heart! Let’s toast to a job well done shall we?
August 11th, 2009 at 18:30
Hi sweet chum,
Oh I suppose she is (damn)! Lets have some gin? Ice and a slice sweetie?
August 14th, 2009 at 21:11
Let us know if the castor oil works….. when is Granzilla due to leave?
August 18th, 2009 at 10:56
I like this blog – check out mine for the other perspective on family life…
August 20th, 2009 at 14:42
Granzilla + champagne + compliment from handsome man = everything is gonna be alright!
Granzilla – champagne – compliment from handsome man = warning, get out now! we have a problem!