Wednesday, May 23, 2012

title pic Staff

Posted by dulwichmum on Fri 11 September 2009

zipI am a frightful technophobe (bats eyelashes), so I require my PA to have super swishy IT skills in order to compensate (you don’t seriously expect me to go on some grubby little course now, do you?).

When one interviews for such a post, every candidate claims to be equipped in every area. It can be incredibly hard to chose (taps tip of finger nail on desk)…

Looking back, there were so many signs that should have set the alarm bells ringing when I interviewed Elle. For a start, she didn’t have a mobile phone number on her application form, she now tells me she finds mobiles “confusing” (how am I to contact her at the weekends or in the evenings?).

Elle didn’t have a reference from her previous employer – she claimed that her entire department had been made redundant on the same day, not so unbelievable in this climate I suppose… However, I was forced to restrain her from using Tippex on her computer monitor the day she arrived (nods head dolefully).

She is forever locked inside the post room and claims to have frightful problems with “back to back” printing, Elle is constantly giggling with the handsome young man on reception or pacing the corridor with the athletic boys in security.

Was that a love bite I spied on her decolletage this afternoon (OHMYGOD)? It wasn’t there this morning.

I was trying to sync my Blackberry with the desktop earlier and despite all previous claims of IT skills and aptitude she announced:

“I am no good with buttons.”

“Indeed,” I replied, I suspect she is far better with zips…

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Comments: 7 Comments to Read

  • saz said,

    My dear, you just cant get the staff these days!!

    Very funny…has been great catching up with the posts l’ve missed over august…good to be back amongst friends…

    saz

  • dulwichmum said,

    Darling Saz,

    Welcome back. I need the support of my friends all around me to survive this dreadful child!

  • Daddy Papersurfer said,

    You’ve failed to mention what Elle looks like Mumsy – surely that is the main function of a PA – they must present an appearance of a mini-you. I’m imagining a petite woman with an air of mystery and danger – a benign goddess who wields her power firmly but fairly ……. mmmmmm … now I’ve thought about this more carefully, obviously it would be almost impossible to replicate the Dulwich Mum. Sack her and get in a toy boy who’s good at fiddling with buttons ………….

    {Tippex on computer monitor – brilliant}

  • Domestic Goddesque said,

    I agree with Daddy Papersurfer….you need to think of your image. I think a male underling is the way to go. Provided, of course, that he knows ‘What Not to Wear’!

    DG x

  • Menopaausloldbag (MOB) said,

    Bless those darling P.A’s, you just have to laugh before you cave in, chase them around the office with a stapler and nail them to the wall. My P.A was asked to make copies of all the computer backup discs and she dutifully complied with the request. One day the inevitable disc crash happened and off she went to get the copied discs for me to re-establish the system. You can imagine how I laughed when on her return she proudly handed over the most wonderful photocopies of the discs that I had ever seen. My, she was a peach that one. I was a good boss though, I often visit her gave to lay her favourite flowers.

  • Menopaausloldbag (MOB) said,

    That was meant to say grave, grave I tell you, mwahahahahahaha

  • dulwichmum said,

    Daddy dear,

    I know that you are right. How are your secretarial skills?

    Sweet DD,

    I am sure that Daddy knows just what to wear!

    Lovely MOB,

    I realised that it was a typo the first time, and you are scaring me… Respect!

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