Staycation
Posted by dulwichmum on Thu 9 July 2009
The plummeting value of sterling, long airport delays, strikes, the delights of global warming and the insistence of my darling children that we bring the dog, have caused us to opt for a staycation in Cornwall this year. At the crack of dawn last Saturday, we commenced the arduous five hour car journey to Padstow – James is so incredibly keen for our munchkins to explore their heritage, country and culture (wipes tear from eye).
Tucked up happily in the back of the Audi Q7, feasting on organic raisins and bottled water, hypnotized by the fabulous new Bolt DVD (Disney animations are simply the perfect entertainment for poppets on long car journeys), my progeny were oblivious to the stresses and strains that our journey entailed. James at the helm (swoon), we motored through hail stones, driving rain and howling wind to reach our destination: a primitive fishing village (the internet and mobile phone coverage here is simply shocking!).
At this time of the year, the picturesque holiday destinations of Cornwall are populated by other conscientious Dulwich families (and their chocolate labradors), holidaying en masse before the state schools break up. State school children can be such a bad influence on our munchkins, and must be segregated at all costs. Apparently their parents do not bring extra homework or musical instruments (for nightly practice) on holiday, and anarchy can be just a hop and a skip away for the average six year old… My face aches from smiling and chatting with friends, school staff and PTA members. Gossip is rife – (clears throat) I despise gossip and am well known for avoiding it…
Apparently (whispers behind hand) one father will be joining his family later as he unexpectedly flew to the USA in order to attend Michael Jackson’s funeral disco (OHMYGOD). By all accounts, he found a ticket to the extravaganza in the wrapper from a chocolate bar (I almost expired myself when I heard – how very Daily Mail!!!). We have only just realized that their children are called Janet and Michael – I kid you not!
That kind of thing is not for everyone sweetie.
Rick Steins empire, PadStein, has transpired to be Cornwall’s equivalent to Tesco and comprises of everything from the Stein’s Fish and Chip Shop, Stein’s Deli, Rick Stein’s Gift Shop, Rick’s Cafe, Stein’s Patisserie, Stein’s Hotel and Rick S’s B&B – (grrr). I must admit that by yesterday, I had developed one of my heads and fled to Port Isaac avec poppets , only to discover an enormous film crew recording an episode of Doc Martin! Must everything be contaminated by commercialization (stamps foot)?
Our capacious luxury vehicle soon became wedged (like so many others) between two of the miniature houses on one of the tiny streets but was lifted free by a legion of burley chaps from the film crew (smirk)! These remote rural locations are not built to accommodate our enormous four wheel drive vehicles and I am sure that we have a case against the town planners. They should be forced to demolish these miniature ornamental dwellings to widen the streets.
We are having supper this evening with Martin Clunes at Fifteen (sigh). We just met, but already are just like old friends as he gave us advice on Max’s verruca. Isn’t it incredibly clever of him to be a doctor and an actor all at once? How very proud his mother must be.
Normal service will be resumed on my blogaroo ASAP. Until then, I shall be wafting about the beaches of Cornwall in my Allegra Hicks kaftans and high heels.
There is never any excuse for flat shoes and you know it!
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Stephen said,
Off to Cornwall myself on Saturday. Any tips on preserving male chic?
dulwichmum said,
Stephen darling!
Get yourself a pair of Fins for him Loafers and for God’s sake, do not pack Boden or Joules casual wear – gangs of identikit men hrong the streets (sigh).
It is going to be sunny, so be sure to purchase top notch sun screen, and invest in a good eye cream like Alford & Hoff at SpaceNK. I shall still be here next week. Where will you be staying (bats eyelashes)?
Stephen said,
Nowhere fashionable, I fear. Hired a cottage outside St. Austell. Hoping to experience the effects of the recession first hand!
Mama Zen said,
The bit about Michael Jackson / Willie Wonka is priceless!
Kitschen Pink said,
Do be careful of your ankles walking on those picturesque cobbles sweetie. It all sounds so exhausting for you, I do hope you have an au pair and a spa booked for your return! Next year you must venture East my lovely. Now that will be an education for the poppets.
LisaTalkingTots said,
Very funny and familiar.
Anne aka mum-e said,
Hmmm. Am beginning to feel most put out that we decided against trip to Cornwall, opting instead for Suffolk coast. Was hoping that it might be quite chi chi but have clearly done it all wrong. There’s certainly nobody as famous as Martin Clunes there, just a lot of Freuds. Although apparently Jay Kay has a place there. Not that I would recognise him these days if he zoomed up Aldeburgh High Street in one of his sports cars and planted a smacker on my lips…
Yummy Mammy said,
Oh yes, watch the ankles there. Not chance then of you bringing me back a stick of rock
Sparx said,
Enjoy your holiday dear DM and I hope the weather at least behaves itself suitably.
MelRoXx said,
LOL! Hope you enjoy!
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