*Worst Christmas Gift Ever Competition*
By dulwichmum | December 18, 2009
Those lovely people at Western Union have offered to provide ten, £20 HMV vouchers for the most entertaining tales of the Worst Christmas Gift Ever! Come on, darling chums; let us share your pain!
Obviously, Western Union would like me to inform you that it really is OK to give cash as a gift at Christmas. As I explained just yesterday, a cash gift from a grandparent at Christmas is far more worthwhile than a dead hamster…
This is not a Go Go Hamster; this is a Gone Gone Hamster!
People can get what they want, you know it will get there on time if you have waited to the last minute, and it is, quite frankly easy. Western Union have a Christmas special rate starting at £4.80 to send money which is competitive with postal rates for packages this year, and is also carbon footprint-less!
I will announce the winners on Monday, Western Union will re-post the entries on their Facebook page.
I am expecting a dead rodent to arrive any day now, so I understand how it feels…
Topics: Competition | 55 Comments »
December 18th, 2009 at 08:22
Hi Bea. I’ve shared my pain over on my site!
http://rosiescribble.typepad.com/rosie-scribble/2009/12/worst-christmas-gift-ever.html
December 18th, 2009 at 08:58
Love the picture of the dead hamster for some sick reason….ours just keep going on and on and on…..
Ignoring all PR on GoGo Hamsters…ignorance is bliss. ;0)
December 18th, 2009 at 09:05
Sweet Rosie,
I must admit that seeing the image of Chucky first thing this morning, left me rather shaken. Your poor chum. Thanks for the link!
Mwah
Darling Chic Mama,
However, the image of your gift has sent me back to bed with Bailey’s in my coffee. You poor darling! We must do lunch. Thank you for the link.
Mwah
December 18th, 2009 at 09:08
It was a lean year in the cher household – think satsumas, lumps of coal and the highlight being aunt cheapskates old jewellery being wrapped in cotton wool as a present. It was made nonetheless leaner by perry our black tabbycat doing some serious 24 action style moves to eat. And I mean leave a bare carcus style troughing, our prized, cooked roast turkey. Cue screams, death threats to perry (which werent carried out I hasten to add, I moved mother away from the knife drawer) and a rather dubious vegetarian style christmas dinner being served. How we laughed.
December 18th, 2009 at 09:14
Dear Cher,
I simply love that line “how we laughed…”!
December 18th, 2009 at 09:17
Can’t remember the worst Christmas Gift I ever got (actually I can, stonewashed jean skirt that even at the tender age of 14 I realised was utterly utterly hideous but had to wear it as Mum had made such an effort and my credibility at school never returned). Can remember the worst gift that i gave though – to an ex-boyfriend – a laundry basket. Why I thought it was a good gift, I have NO IDEA! We weren’t going out for much longer after that….
December 18th, 2009 at 09:18
Poor little Gone Gone, (s)he reminds me of the Christmas when Ginger & Pickles, the gerbils, finally turned themselves upside down for good. Sob. Now, my worst Christmas gift is an easy peasy one. I know recycled things are all the rage, and rightly so, but try telling that to a 12-year-old who was given a can of shaving foam from an aunt and uncle. It was designer, it probably smelled quite nice IF YOU WERE A BOY WHO SHAVED, but it was shaving foam nonetheless. And to make it worse, it was the same designer shaving foam we’d given as part of a box set to the uncle the year before. I still wonder what that present was all about. And to repeat, I was 12. And a girl. And I still don’t have a moustache.
December 18th, 2009 at 09:24
Apart from the ‘razor’ as reported over at my place, my own Mumsy had a way with presents.
One year, when I was about 30, she bought me some undercrackers – sized ‘tiny’ – accompanied by the words “I know that you’re not very big down below.” I was soooo pleased that my children were there ….. as well as Uncle Leslie, Auntie Vera and the Vicar ……….. I didn’t like the way the TG smiled to herself either ………..
December 18th, 2009 at 09:25
Darling DM, my picture of Chucky is trying to compete with your dead hamster!
There seems to have been a very good response to your competition so far!
December 18th, 2009 at 09:46
Dear Brit in Bosnia,
What a super child you were! I was a nasty teen and would have laughed like a drain. If only I could go back and start again… As for the laundry basket – I laughed my socks off!
Daddy Papersurfer!
YOU HAVE OVERSHARED!!! OHMYGOD. You poor man (kisses on nose).
Perfect Rosie,
I am delighted to have such super special chums!
December 18th, 2009 at 09:54
great rodent! i’ve had a few naff ones but how about the Borat book, given by hubby – last year?!! i think that tops even the electric head massager that resembled the electric chair – year before.
December 18th, 2009 at 09:57
my worst christmas present EVER was from a miserly old uncle who purchased all his gifts from the Pound Shop in Lewisham…..I receive a bottle of “perfume” that smelt of those wonderful sweets of my youth, fruit salads but sadly, after tentatively applying said perfume to my wrists, my skin turned exactly the same colour as a fruit salad…..I spent the remainder of Christmas Day and all of Boxing Day scratching my wrists until they bled…..which in itself is not a festive look.
December 18th, 2009 at 10:03
Ha! Tup Tup Toys,
What a hoot your man is. Those head massagers look like something a pervert would use from The Wire in the blood!
Super chum Nunhead Mum of One,
I love that story! What a frightful old stingebag your uncle was – and yet super entertainment value. What did he give you for a wedding gift, I am fascinated…
December 18th, 2009 at 10:45
I would have to say my worst Christmas was in fact from my beloved husband and daughter. My first child had been born 2 months before Christmas, so to say the least I was not feeling on best form. Under the tree presents were piled high and having had a sneak saw 3 from my newborn daughter, how I yelped with glee it should have been a memory to cherish. However present 1: Facial Hair Remover Kit present 2: Leg hair remover kit which was basically like sandpaper on an never ending spin. It made me bleed and get a rash! present 3 Tweezers!
I hadn’t even thought I was hairy! Not the best present but one I have always remembered!
December 18th, 2009 at 10:49
Darling Cass.
OHMYGOD! I am speachless. I have a good mind to send a cab for you right now. Don’t spend another moment with that man…(stomps foot)
December 18th, 2009 at 10:52
aka @ilovemonty
Monty’s Auntie bought him a crappy ‘fake’ burberry matalan jumper with a hood and a fleecy dressing gown with footballs on it last xmas. He was 16months, even if the hoody had been real burberry I still would never put him in it. After mys husband could see I was being sick in my own gob he stopped the video camera, so I could explete freely. Gifts were promptly placed in carrier bag, and deposited outside help the aged on boxing day.
December 18th, 2009 at 10:54
Rebecca dear, that is hilarious. These are stories are getting better and better or should I say worse and worse?
December 18th, 2009 at 11:05
Does Flu over Christmas count as the worst present ever? I slept pretty much the whole of Christmas Day.
Then again I also had a stomach bug on Boxing Day a few years before that – yep it wasn’t a Christmas if I wasn’t ill in one or another way – so this year I plan to be healthy over Christmas – I refuse to be ill lol.
Erm actual physical worst present would be – make up! I’m not a make up wearing girl – if I do it’s pinks or purples and thats it maybe a bit of eyeliner – my aunts on the other hand though it was wonderful having a niece and so would buy me make up for Christmas. Browns and greys (before smokey eyes were cool!)
Bubble bath or body shop bits are just as bad lol. If you can’t think of something do not resort to bubble baths unless you know that the person actually really loves bubble baths etc
December 18th, 2009 at 11:14
Poor Han,
the flu is dreadful. I must admit that I adore bath accessories myself, but even walking past that Lush shop brings me out in a rash.
December 18th, 2009 at 11:48
Lush- even knowing I have to walk past it is enough to make me gag! Got to think it would get the sinuses working once more though…..
DM- I have, I think, totally whipped your dead hamster (comedy picture aside) with a tale of Christmas Woe. I hope you approve. Festive Greetings and all that Schmaltz, DG xx
December 18th, 2009 at 11:50
Are we sitting comfortably? then I’ll begin:
There was the Terrys Chocolate Orange that was 4 years out of date.
Another year…a bottle of clean o pine and some marigolds.
Another time: a vacuum given with a warm smile and the words, it was very expensive, it’s the latest model…..it had been won in a competition, which is fine, but not when you pretend you’ve spent a fortune on it.
Many Christmas’ I was given huge beige knickers.
How about the pink hairnets left by Santa?
Ooh…Darling Husband just reminded me, I did get one nice present last year, it was a pot of honey.
Now all the above were given by Shirl, my lovely mother, each on different Christmas’, so no overspend there.
And shall I mention a few Birthday resents while we’re at it?
Again, all from Shirl on seperate Birthdays..
A nursery rhyme book for my daughter..a second hand one, around 20 years old (you could tell by the illustrations) with another child’s name handwritten inside the cover. That was it, nothing else.
An Asda carrier bag containing a Chad Valley toy from Woolworths for the youngest daughter, 11 months after they closed, so I fear it was a car boot affair.
Me, I have been given, many times by my kind ma, boxes of Belgian Truffles..always out of date, always melted and stuck to the cellophane making it seem they have been stored upside down in the aircupboard for some years to mature before presenting them to me…in an Asda carrier bag.
I could go on, but I shall bore you no longer…..
Mwah!
December 18th, 2009 at 11:50
http://domesticgoddesque.blogspot.com/2009/12/worst-christmas-gift-ever.html always forget the link……
December 18th, 2009 at 11:52
Am I banned for taking up too much space and having shocking spelling Sweetie?
December 18th, 2009 at 11:58
Darling Domestic Goddesque,
I cant wait to return from the hairdressers to read your tale!
Perfect Frog,
You know you have my sympathy. I could never ban you, unless you gave me an inappropriate gift!
December 18th, 2009 at 12:08
A few years back I was given a pair of grey leg warmers (well before they were fashionable) which had been fashioned from old grey school socks. Gave homemade a whole new meaning, Stella McCartney this was not.
December 18th, 2009 at 12:12
I have just read another ‘hairy’ lady story… however…
Sadly my worst gift was a lady shave! Obviously a hugely practical gift… but it does also pose the question does the giver of said gift believe that I am one hairy lady and need to learn to shave?
I was also bought a dress (by same said person!)… which sounds brilliant… was a very nice dress… however it was a size 20… I am a size 10! It poses the question, does this person have an image of me that I am not seeing?!
Merry Christmas One and All…
December 18th, 2009 at 12:22
Last year my parents gave my darling wife a small paper Swedish flag, she is not Swedish, she does not know anyone from a Scandinavian country, and she has explicitly forbidden any family holiday north of Dover.
Reliable – school-gate – sources have told her that the flags were being given free at a well know out of town furniture store with a child’s portion of pickled herring last December, but as we try to avoid this 8th circle of hell, we cannot confirm this as the source.
She’s especially looking forward to this Christmas as my parents are staying with us for 5 whole days this year!
December 18th, 2009 at 14:19
My worst Christmas gift ever was a navy towel with green anchors and shells on it.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice towel – from Debenhams I recall – but it’s man’s towel.
Who did I get it from? My husband of 8 years.
What did I do? Reader, I divorced him!
December 18th, 2009 at 14:24
I am clearly spoilt for my husband and children only ever but me the most stylish of gifts and I desperately try to avoid the giving and receiving of others. My dear husband has not always been so lucky though – we will never forget the look of horror on his face when he unwrapped the metal detector that our son bought for him(self) last year.
BTW – did you know that woolies still have go Go Hamsters?! Saw their tweet today.
Hope you have a lovely Christmas,
Sian xx
December 18th, 2009 at 15:15
So this is actually my mom’s story, but it’s too good not to share!
My dad was rushing last minute to buy my mom something. When it was time to open presents he gave my mom clues, which included waving his arms in a windshield wiper manner. My mom thought of Hawaiian luau dancers and immediately, with loads of excitement, exclaimed: HAWAII!
Sadly, she was very disappointed as my dad did in fact buy her new windshield wipers AND tacky beaded seat covers for her car!
Talk about disappointment! This happened 10 years ago or so and we still remind him of it.
Luckily, he has learned his lesson and the gift-giving has gotten much better!
December 18th, 2009 at 16:20
Well, obviously our sole purpose in life is to stop such tragedies as the Chad Valley in crumpled Asda bag fiasco. But I have had a few shockers over the years. I have an aunt, who, for some reason can’t accept that I’m a grown up. Since hitting my teens and twenties I have had a succession of Bratz dolls, Accessorize glitter kits, plastic pink handbags and stickers with sticker books. All pretty fab in their way, were I two decades younger than I am!
December 18th, 2009 at 19:32
Darling – I’m hoping that the cold weather keeps the smell down in that box that’s coming from your mother. Keep your fingers crossed.
I was once given a toy truck by the company my father worked for because they thought my name was a boy’s name. I was heartbroken when I opened it while all the other little girls got dolls and were playing merrily with them at the company party while I had to sit there and scoot my (wet with tears) truck back and forth.
Absolutely humiliating. They didn’t even have another doll to give out. The Basterds!
December 18th, 2009 at 19:38
The worst presents are always from my mother. last year was very bad. I received a non branded box of make up (probably from a cheap shop), 2dressing gowns (both too big and hideous) 2pairs of slippers (horrid cow print and animal prints) and some very sylish clothes that were also too big, they never got worn and were taken staight to the charity shop. I was mortified!! I’m only 24 for gods sake not 60!!!
December 18th, 2009 at 19:43
My worst was a lipstick my mum got me in Morocco which was green but changed to pink when you put it on your lips. It was meant to be different for every person. It was a horrific lurid pink on my lips.
December 18th, 2009 at 20:25
Darling DM… years before I became you’re prodigy I had a boyfriend who gave me three rolls of roof insulation… of, and crabs.
I think I win.
mwah
December 19th, 2009 at 00:24
My mother in law bought me Scrabble which on opening I was quite pleased with “not bad for her” was my inital thought – at the end of the day a classic game, my MIL was excessively smiling as I thanked her which unerved me but I thought no more. The out laws left and Mr L and I sat down to for a game a few days later. It was the Arabic edition. BITCH!
December 19th, 2009 at 11:32
OHMYGOD! How I have laughed and cried, reading some of these. What a hoot!
December 19th, 2009 at 11:39
The worst Christmas gift I have ever been given was a pack of 3 yellow dusters…how do you say thank you when you open that?
Nightmare!
December 19th, 2009 at 12:49
My then-boyfriend gave me a set of cutlery for our first Christmas together. Needless to say he’s now my ex.
My Mum is the worst for buying ridiculous gifts, especially for my kids. When my eldest son was 2 she bought him one of those massive remote-controlled motorbike things that kids sit on. Very kind, except I lived in a 3rd floor tenement flat and the damn thing took up an entire room! It was so heavy I couldn’t really lift it up and down the stairs so I think son got to play on it maybe twice before I handed it into a charity shop.
December 19th, 2009 at 16:18
[...] post was written in response to the gorgeous and fabulous Dulwich Mum’s competition. I hope she’ll forgive me, but part of this post is actually a bit of a lie. Weirdly I [...]
December 19th, 2009 at 16:26
My post is here darling. I just had to enter.
http://www.jobeaufoix.com/2009/12/19/worst-christmas-gift-ever/
December 19th, 2009 at 17:19
When my husband and I were engaged and in that “loved up” stage in the relationship, he bought me a deep-fat fryer from the supermarket on Christmas Eve. I responded the next year with a trouser press.
December 20th, 2009 at 09:43
Here is my “entry”… http://www.amothersramblings.com/2009/12/worse-christmas-gift.html just hope my MIL isn’t reading today!
December 20th, 2009 at 18:13
On our first ever Christmas together hubby gave me a steam iron ….. I gave him a box of laundry washing powder …. somehow I think there must have been a short cut to where we are now! HA! t.xxx
December 21st, 2009 at 00:00
*Climbs up on the poured concrete kitchen island, raises glass and clears throat*
Thank you all so very much for taking part. What a hoot it was judging the entries, no I have not been drinking and no the hamster has not arrived yet.
THE WINNERS ARE:
QB
Teena
Frog in the Field
Angels and Urchins
Daddy P
Cass
Lou la la
NumberOneScumMum
Vonnie
Trish @ Mum’s Gone to!
Congratulations one and all
* falls off kitchen island into husband’s manly arms*.
December 21st, 2009 at 10:23
Ah an excellent choice! I now have closure on the deep-fat fryer debacle and can buy myself something I really want. Thank you Dulwich Mum and Western Union.
December 21st, 2009 at 12:08
I never win anything! …… [what to say, what to say?!!!]
I’d like to thank my parents, the girl on check out 3, my brother’s sister-in-law, the whole medical team that operated on my bunion, the RNLI of course, but most of all, the person who lives in Dulwich, she’s a mother you know, and Western Union, whose services I have used in the past to rescue one of my errant sons who was stuck in Greece …….
I’M RICH NOW!!!!! BEYOND THE DREAMS OF FAT REDUCED AVARICE!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 21st, 2009 at 12:09
Thank you, oh Thank you (gush).
Sweetie you should have waited for that concrete to set properly, your Ugg Boots will never be the same!
December 21st, 2009 at 12:26
Hurrah for me!
December 21st, 2009 at 14:38
YAY!
I wish I had written an acceptance speach… but ill have to adlib!
Thank you!!!
Merry Christmas
xx
December 21st, 2009 at 16:38
Yay! Thanks for all of your lovely entries. I am cracking open a bottle (just for a change), there is a blizard blowing outside and I am sitting here in my Snuggie feeling Christmasy!
December 21st, 2009 at 19:06
Thanks DulwichMum,
but I have agreed to sign over the HMV token in atonement for the flag (it was my parents) – QB
December 22nd, 2009 at 15:01
Ooh Ooh Oooh! That feels better! I shall buy myself an album of disco queen dance tracks to polish up my moves! t.xx
December 22nd, 2009 at 18:58
What a lovely surprise! Thank you – that’ll get me something far nicer than a cutlery set
December 30th, 2009 at 19:46
aw, thank you! if you run the competition next year I’ll be able to enter the mixed chutney set I received this year. Ungrateful? Possibly, but I can’t be alone in finding a ‘gift box’ of dodgy chutney leaves me cold? On the plus side, I’ve just heard that Johnny Depp is on Radio 4′s Front Row tomorrow.